Be it. Don't just Do it.

That sounds a lot like the Nike ad. The Nike tag is 'Just Do It'. That's fine for getting in shape, getting a cute body, strengthening your muscles etc.

So what's the difference between doing it and being it? Doing it is when you purposely do something, you think about it, make a conscious decision, you might push yourself to do it because you think you should, it takes effort.

Being it is the next stage. It comes after you've made the choice, done the work and you relax. Like working really hard to go on vacation - you save up, take time deciding where you're going to go, do your prep - cancel the mail, take the dog to the kennels, pack, get to the airport, check in, get on the plane, arrive, get transportation to your hotel, unpack, change, get your stuff ready for the beach, find your way to the beach and "Arrrrrr", relax, you can be on vacation.

Is it possible to be all the time in everyday life? Are you doing life or are you being alive? Can you go deeper than just doing it? Can you slow down? Feel it. Morphe into it. Become it. Open to it. Lose yourself in it. Feel every cell of your body wake-up and become one with it?

There is a big difference between doing yoga and being yoga. When you first start yoga, you focus on learning the individual poses. The alignment, the names, where your body needs to be. You get into the pose, you do it. The next stage is when you release, let go of the gripping, forcing, working, and you become the pose. This is when Yoga really comes alive and the magic starts. The feeling you get from being the pose is why people love doing yoga.

When you lose your small-self, you merge with your breath and you experience a feeling of being alive, being part of something much bigger and part of an unseen energy. In yogic terms that energy is called 'Prana', in Chinese it is called 'Chi' (like Tai Chi) and in Japanese it is 'Ki' (like Rei-ki). In Eastern medicine, it is prana/chi/ki that are the healing energies.

One of the major symptoms of MS is numbness. Especially in the extremities - hands/fingers, feet/toes. Neurologists now categorize MS as a pyscho-neurological disease. Meaning that there are psychological influences behind the disease - the number one being stress. People with MS often experience episodes or relapses during or after stressful events and it is vital for people with MS to learn to manage their stress. Yoga is one of the two most prescribed exercises for people with MS (the other is swimming). The body can stay relatively cool in both exercises, both are meditative and calming for the mind and both strengthen and stretch the body.

One of the first signs of MS I experienced was complete numbness in my right arm, hand and fingers. It healed, but I recognize that in stressful situations, my tendency is to 'numb' out. A couple of months ago, I kept waking up full of adrenalin, I knew I needed to let the adrenaline out and let go. Months of stress of getting divorced, years of build-up in a bad marriage. Living close to the ocean, I decided to get up and go to the beach.

I did it in a sensibly wild way....It was pitch dark (5:30am), I wrapped up warm, stopped at Starbucks for a hot tea (got a Passion, love asking for that: "I'd like a big cup of hot passion please"), began the windy Hwy 1 drive to Stinson, thought better, turned around and went to Rodeo. Parked outside the firehouse.

As I was driving, I felt an energy pour through my body and experienced one of those "Ah-ha"moments. For the first time in years I felt alive. Really alive. As though all the numbness in my body was leaving. It was going away and was being replaced with new cells that were open to receive, experience and live. I knew I was leaving the MS behind. I was leaving the numbness created from being in such a negative environment. The numbness created to somehow protect myself from the situation I was in.

Now I know that there are lots of people with MS who have wonderful marriages, and I'm not blaming my marriage for the MS. But, I am saying that the stress of the marriage was a factor in the MS. I know that if you took an MRI of my brain, there are probably tons of lesions still. But this was my experience at that moment in time. And since that moment in time I've continued to feel alive and feel well. And it feels really really good.

This was my first time doing the beach thing - I'd seen it in movies and was most inspired by the beautiful scene in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, when Kate Winslet's character is at the frozen lake, making snow angels. I did the classic crazy-lady-on-the-beach-at-6am thing. I laughed, ran in circles, cried, prayed, made sand angels. Counted stars. Looked for the man on the moon. As the sun came up, I journaled:

Oct. 30 2009 6:40am

Running, crying, dancing, twisting, embracing feeling FREE and all the energies and power associated with that. I feel all my cells activate and wake up, I feel numbness be filled with vitality - MS replaced with strength and being alive!!!

I have done it! I escaped - I AM FREE!! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!

I got home and called my mum. She was proud of me for going to the beach. Proud of me for being myself. "I so want to fall in love, Mum", I told her, "but he has to think it's cool if I climb out of bed at 5:30am to go to the beach to run and make sand angels". "You'll find him Jane" she said. "He'll love all of you"... It's early days yet. I'm still feeling out how to be. But I know that sometime in the future, I will be with someone by my side. Someone equally passionate and alive. And kind. And hot ;)

And guess what? This is cool. Since I was diagnosed with MS eight years ago, I have experienced an episode every single Fall. Except this year.

xoxox

EXERCISE: Be the Music

This one's great and very simple. Put on a favorite piece of music. Dance if you feel inspired, sit and close your eyes if you don't. But be it. Be the music. Give yourself permission to stop your day for just a few minutes and be you.

xoxoxo